West Bromwich Albion 3
A wolf is an animal that eats its own sh*t
It don’t know how to talk but it knows how to spit
It’ll rob your Granny
It’ll take her bag
It’ll give it to its sister and then take her for a sh*g
So if you don’t want to sh*g your family come up the Albion with me
“When the Saints go marching in” is a favourite basis for chants. Here’s a couple of our versions:
Sure to make an appearance at Old Trafford is:
My garden shed
Is bigger than this
My garden shed is bigger than this
It’s got a door, and a window
My garden shed is bigger than this
…and…
The Molineux
Is full of s**t
The Molineux is full of s**t
It’s full of s**t, s**t and more s**t
Molineux is full of s**t
Needless to say, that one is is just one of many chants directed at our local rivals. Here’s some more:
To the tune of “The Adams Family”:
Your father is your brother,
Your sister is your mother,
You all s**g1 one another,
the dingle family……….
de de de de – clap clap
de de de de – clap clap
etc
1 or f**k, depending on preference
To the tune of “The Great Escape”:
Slap a Dingle
Slap a Dingle
Da daaa da daaa da-da-da da daaaa
Slap a Dingle
Slap a Dingle
Cos that’s what Dingles are for
To the tune of “My Old Man’s a Dustman”:
Stevie Bull’s a Tatter, he wears a Tatter’s hat
He plays for Wolverhampton, and he’s a f****g tw*t
He runs down the left wing, he runs down the right
He couldn’t score a goal if he played all f*****g night
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Stevie Bull’s a Tatter (repeat ad infinitum)
For added value, the words “Wanderers” and “Villa” are interchangeable in this one, sung to the the tune of “Roll Out the Barrel”:
S**t on the Wanderers, s**t on the Wanderers tonight
S**t on the Wanderers, s**t on the Wanderers tonight
S**t on the Wanderers, s**t on the Wanderers tonight
Everybody s**t on the Wanderers
Cause they’re a load – of – shi-i-ite
To the tune of “Cum By Ya”:
He wears gold and black, and he’s crap
He wears gold and black, and he’s crap
He wears gold and black, and he’s crap
Ketsbaia is a Dingle tw*t
(OK, so he’s been rejected, but there are plenty more to choose from)
This one, sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland” (I think) seems to change words at regular intervals:
There’s only one Gary Megson/Alan Buckley/Ray Harford/Denis Smith/Brian Little etc
One Alan Buckley/Ray Harford/Denis Smith etc
Walking along, singing this song
S*****g on the Wanderers as we go-o-o
S*****g on the Wanderers as we go
To the tune of “Tavern in the Town”:
There is a circus in the town
And Barry Fry/Trevor Francis/Stevie Bruce/TBA is the clown
And Karren Brady is a f*****g s**g
And the Blues are going/staying down
To the tune of “Son of my Father” (by Chicory Tip, apparently):
Oh, Wanky Wanky
Wanky Wanky Wanky Wanky Wanderers
Some of the chants single out individual players and are sung up ad down the country by all supporters of all teams in some guise or other. For instance:
Hark now hear
The West Brom sing
A king is born today
And his name is Bobby Taylor
And he’s better than Stevie Bull – S**T !
Super, SuperBob
Super, SuperBob
Super, SuperBob
Super Bobby Taylor
Sooooooooooper, SuperBob
Super, SuperBob
etc
One of the old favourites. Not a football song as such, but we sing it anyway and we sing it well:
The Lord’s my shepherd
I’ll not want
He makes me down to lie
In pastures green
He leadeth me
The quiet waters by
“Go West” was a hit for the Village People back in the Dark Ages and covered by the Pet Shop Boys. It makes one of the simplest Albion chants there is:
Go West, Bromwich Albion
Go West, Bromwich Albion
Go West, Bromwich Albion
Go West, Bromwich Albion
etc
etc
Likewise “Boom Boom Boom” was a recent hit for a couple of black American slapheads called the Outhere Brothers. A simple exchange of words and you end up with the sublime:
Say Boing Boing Boing, everybody say Baggies
BAGGIES!!!
(Just repeat it until the tonsils give in….)